Imported Stupidity

RC Cruises to Haiti resume, CBI program scrutiny, PSVs in Barbados suck

Oct 10, 2024

So we’re all aware of the whole Guyana-Venezuela border dispute, but there’s an equally entertaining one still ongoing between Belize and Guatemala. Every few decades Guatemala settles then seemingly arbitrarily renews the original Spanish claim to Belize. The current round of arbitration in the international court isn’t expected to truly get underway until next year.

This is Disgruntled Musings, a compilation of quick commentary on the latest socio-political news and updates from across the Caribbean region.

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Barbados Opposition Leader doesn’t want legislation to be too gay

Barbados Today

Sometimes my country makes me facepalm so hard I become concussed. Barbados became, I’m making frantic air quotes here, a republic back in 2021 to coincide with 50 years of independence. In a stunning affirmation of the government's half-assed commitment to all domestic policy, a new constitution was not ready in time for the big transition. Instead, a committee, I’m making those air quotes again, was formed with a deadline mulled for the following year. That fell through. It is now 2024 in the year of our Lord and we’re still here trying to draft this document to define the tenets of the republic.

There has been heated discussion on proposed new wording, acknowledging that gay people exist in the country, primarily because doing so would probably cause the island to sink beneath the waves faster than its economy, or so I’m told. That document is supposed to be ready by the end of this year but if you believe that then I’ve got a clock in Westminster to sell you.

In this week’s episode of ‘We Don’t Say Gay: Barbados edition’, opposition leader Ralph Thorne took umbridge with the neutral wording of anti-rape legislation, dear me, Claiming that the current wording should clearly define spouses as male and female, husband and wife etc. Because if two guys do it, it’s just a round of WWE smackdown I guess. Minister Abrahams correctly pointed out that the word husband is indeed used in the legislation but that the neutral wording we are seeing takes into account the fact that women can indeed be the aggressor. Abrahams also sort of gilded the lily, and needed to dispel all notions of gayness by reiterating that same sex people weren’t even considered or mulled in the creation of the new legislation. Almost Abrahams, almost. We’ll get there eventually I suppose.

Dominica Opposition leader to bring legal challenge over CBI program, similar action threatened in Saint Lucia

IMI Daily

CBI programs are revenue streams for countries that sell a passport in exchange for a sizable contribution to their economy. Several islands such as Dominica, Saint Lucia both and Saint Kitts have programs, with the Dominica’s constituting a significant portion of its yearly income, more than 60% by some estimates. These diplomatically fueled fortunes are then used to bolster the development of the country in question. In Dominica’s case their CBI program is funding several very pivotal projects including housing, tourism attraction infrastructure and of course a brand new international airport which the nature isle desperately needs.

Now CBI programs do tend to get a bad rap but most arguments against them are unjustified and just plain old misconceptions. The process for obtaining a passport via these programs is often far more granular and secure than most visa applications even. The real quandary comes from the question of what is the passport really worth? Specifically to the citizens of a country. Does it go hand in hand with the notion of a birthright? And if yes, is it ethically sound to sell them? Well it’s too late for that now really, those three EC nations have been at it for some time now and making a pretty penny. Ka-ching!

Dominica’s opposition leader Lennox Linton, quite the name, wants the earnings to be transparent as they are to be firmly for the benefit of Dominica’s citizens. Linton want’s more accountability and the consolidation of these earnings to a fund that would be subject to more scrutiny so that the government cannot squander it’s earnings through corruption and favoritism. Allen Chastanet of Saint Lucia is gearing up for a similar fight. This could be one to watch, and could set a precedent for the management of these programs going forward.

Quick News

Royal Caribbean returns to warzone (Haiti)

Haiti Libre

The cruise giant suspended operations for months following the surge of violence that has gripped Haiti. I’m not sure what has changed to warrant a return but I guess money really talks these days. Labadee being a cordoned off zone is apparently relatively safe from the worst the country has to offer but with US travel advisories continuing to warn against travel to the island, this 180 may not last very long.

Dengue flare up in Panama, West Nile case in Barbados

Mena, WHO

Panama is recording a surge in dengue cases just as the rest of the Caribbean begins to subside. The explosive breeding of the vector mosquito, no doubt caused by the recent arrival of rains, has seen thousands of new cases and deaths across all major provinces, the hardest hit being Panama Metro itself and neighboring Colon.

Barbados said hold my beer and has somehow generated one case of West Nile virus in a child to which I said, not today.

Surinamese parliamentarian opens fire on mobile phone

LOOP News

To end off we have an item that really confirms that the Caribbean might not be a real place. A Surinamese, yes Suriname is in CARICOM, parliamentarian reportedly shot his mobile phone several times after receiving a call from another woman in front of his wife. Ye we’re gonna end the news right there.

Long Talk: Imported Stupidity

Center: Minibus | Right: Minivan. These things and the people driving them are a menace. Credit: Charlie On The Move

Listeners, it may bring your jaws to the floor to learn that this well adjusted voice that seems to have everything in order, does not drive. I don’t have a driver’s license. Here on my home island, my residence in the suburbs does allow me to reach just about all of the basics without the need for a car. If I need to be price gouged by the supermarket, it’s 5 minutes walk away, financially shaken down by the doctor, 3 minutes walk away. Even my primary school was an uncomfortable 7 minutes out. However, occasionally I must leave my cocoon of convenience and venture out into the wider island. Banking, visiting friends, getting that new air fryer I’ve been stalking at the mall, I need to get a bus for that. Or at least I wish I could get a bus for that. I mean I could, it’s just bafflingly not as easy or pleasant as you’d think. You see, I’ve been harping on about our public transit system, both on this podcast and to anyone unfortunate enough to stand stationary next to me for more that 63 seconds. I’m a huge proponent of public transport. It is therefore nothing short of punishment handed down for my sins in a previous life, that I live on an island that simply cannot get it right.

The government agency responsible for this perpetual clusterfuck is called the Transport Board. But I’m not gonna rail on them directly today. In fact today is not even about the pathetic collection of around 100 functional vehicles they dare call a fleet. No, I am here to address the vacuum that their incompetence has generated in the market and the resulting tumor that has formed to fill it. I speak specifically about private service vehicles or PSVs. They’re the maxi taxis, route taxis et al that are now the dominant method of transit on the island. Here in Barbados they take the form of brightly colored yellow buses, vans and smaller white minivans with a burgundy stripe along the side. They are citizen owned vehicles that are licensed to operate the routes and THEY ARE VILE.

Ear-damagingly loud music with the most obscene lyrics. The speakers are often right next to your head and I don’t enjoy using the think of the children card but there are children aboard these buses and vans. Then we have drivers and conductors that haven’t seen the underside of a shower head in days or the inside of an actual clothing store in months. They operate these vehicles so recklessly that the island is basically desensitized to the sheer number of road accidents and jams that are caused by them. They sometimes stop to have conversations with each other, blocking entire arterial roads. They overload the vehicles, in sharp violation of insurance policies if they even have and guaranteeing that any major incident is automatically a mass casualty at the general hospital. The vehicles themselves are maintained about as well as you’d expect, get those tetanus shots before you board and then there’s the most aggravating point of all, they aren’t air conditioned. Some of them don’t even have adequate windows for ventilation because they were never intended to be used in this manner. So to wrap this image up for you, picture your next trip to the city. The conductor smells like aged cheese and wood, it’s 31 degrees Celsius outside, 105 inside this tin can, and you are squeezed against the un-openable window in a row designed for four that is now miraculously seating 6. You can’t move. And for the next 30 minutes you will be treated to the musical stylings of Kartel and Spice , regaling you with their sexual exploits pumped directly into your ear whether you like it or not. Not even headphones can save you. The cherry on top, that $3.50 you just paid for this trip might be completely burned without you reaching your destination, because they are often stopped by the police, who force everyone to disembark and seek alternate transport.

Holy shit. We actually have a name for this entire ordeal. Van culture. The disregard for safety, health, decency all in a dance hall soaked package was always with us to some degree but became supercharged as the public transport system crumbled. How did it get here? Well that’s the title of this piece. Imported Stupidity. We actually adopted this counter productive culture from our neighbors, predominantly Jamaica and mainly through its music, its dance hall. We have literally transplanted a level of lawlessness directly to our roads that should never have been allowed. The laissez-faire reaction to road regulations, the hustle mentality and a rebellious streak that defies logic are now key attributes of the people we trust to get us from point A to B daily. And to play this child card again, yes we trust them to move thousands of children daily. Children who are easily impressionable. Children who become indoctrinated into the theories of violence that characterize Jamaica. Imagine all that effort into curating media at home, following TV ratings, for your child to be brought to the dark side anyway on their morning commute to class. Madness. We have, well, had regulations against all those grievances I listed prior.It was once illegal to even play music aboard any public transport vehicle. Probably still is. But we don’t enforce these rules, we can’t enforce them. We’d end up throwing what’s left of the public transport workforce behind bars. Back when I was a wee lad there were stories of drivers rocking the buses, dangerously swerving them, to the beat of dance hall music. The resulting accidents, one of which infamously involved a bus load of secondary schoolers, was horrific. Many of the drivers and conductors are not exactly in the middle class and have wholesale adopted the values that give the Jamaica Police Force a run for its money on that island daily.

The pandemic sealed our fate. Once there weren’t enough government buses to move the population around anymore and social distancing rules reduced the capacity of every vehicle to laughable numbers, the Transport board was forced to enact a special program allowing basically any Tom, Dick or Harry with a 20-seater to join the board. And the owners of those vehicles hired the cheapest of the cheap in terms of labor. Their employees aren’t listening to NPR. I can tell you that. So right now if you come to Barbados you will likely endure a little bit of Jamaica on your next bus ride. And not the best parts. It’s wildly infuriating that the public has basically rolled over and accepted the state of things. And now that the government has essentially handed over so many routes to these pirates of the tarmac, they themselves aren’t making much revenue, which leaves the Transport Board in an anemic state. And now that they’ve created this artificial market, there’s a reluctance to revitalize the public transit system because that would likely compete and slaughter the PSVs. So now these drivers and conductors are either on the breadline or heading straight into crime.

The government is already planning to do just that by the way. 100 new BYD electric buses are slated to arrive at the start of 2025 (praise China). Air con, WiFi, silence, comfort. And a new transit authority is to be established to manage them. Concerningly this new entity is also to absorb the PSV operators and their union. It’s like buying a brand new horse and shooting it in one leg before you start the race. My limited knowledge of horse physiology tells me that you no longer have a contender at that point. Just very inconveniently unprepared glue. For once I’d like us to import something culturally useful. Whatever happened to K-pop and J-pop? Could we get the next generation of drivers hooked on that? It could be our gateway to Asian-style transit efficiency. Or at least public transportation that isn’t actively trying to kill me for $3.